October 21, 2006
An old Spanish proverb warns--do not speak unless you can improve upon the silence.
I only know one person who can—Bob Newhart.
Newhart is best known to most of us as the deadpan comedian of the 60’s who knew exactly when to pause in his delivery.
His punch lines and his pauses were pure perfection.
In 1960, Bob Newhart rose to instant stardom when his comedy album, The Button Down Mind of Bob Newhart, was released.
I can still remember how my Dad thought it was the funniest recording he had ever heard. We played it over and over committing Bob’s lines to memory.
My Dad’s favorite story on the album was “The Krushchev Landing Rehearsal.”
Doubled over and holding his stomach, my Dad would laugh until tears came to his eyes.
What made that story so hilarious was that Bob was carrying on a conversation on the telephone with someone we never got to hear. Newhart repeated out loud for us what was happening on the other end.
For Bob Newhart, it only took one half of a conversation to be funny.
Listeners could picture the scenes in their minds, perhaps more vividly than television in those days could have portrayed it.
Most of Newhart’s appeal was due to the fact that he delivered his lines with no expression, reminiscent of Jack Benne, but funnier.
Another tale my Dad loved on the album was “Abe Lincoln vs. Madison Avenue.” Abe Lincoln’s press secretary was trying to prepare him for a speech. Lincoln was making mistakes and getting everything wrong.
The press secretary (Bob) says, “Please read the bio! You were a rail-splitter then an attorney (pause). You wouldn’t give up your law practice to become a rail-splitter!”
“The Cruise of the U.S.S. Codfish” and “The Driving Instructor” were famous sketches on the album as well.
The album went straight to the top of the charts, the first comedy album to ever do that, and it even beat out Elvis!
Newhart went on to star in two different television shows, was guest host for Johnny Carson 87 times, and had numerous appearances on The Ed Sullivan Show and The Dean Martin Show to name just a few.
What strikes my fancy now about Newhart is that he is 76 and still entertaining, and he has a new book out. His book, “I shouldn’t even be doing this and other things that strike me funny,” is sure to be a hit with Baby Boomers.
Our Baby Boomer generation has not forgotten Bob Newhart.
For example, most of us have mimicked, at some time or other, this famous line from his 70’s television show, Newhart:
“This is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl.”
A line that always brings rounds of laughter.
Bob knows how important laughter is in our lives, too, “Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it, and then move on.”
Wishing I could hear Bob’s original album one more time, I searched the basement with no success.
Then, I realized that I didn’t need the album after all. My family and I had memorized it.
We must not have had much to do back then.
Anyway, “The Krushchev Landing Rehearsal” goes a little bit like this, if my memory serves me well.
To set the stage, Bob Newhart was speaking into a telephone giving directions, presumably to a crew on the ground, as Krushchev deboarded the plane.
“Cue Ike (pause). Somebody take the putter from Ike. Alright have him shake hands with Ike. Have him shake hands with so-and-so (pause). No, not so-and-so shake hands with Ike; have Krushchev shake hands with Ike…Start the speech…blah, blah, blah, blah. Jerry he keeps hopping up and down (pause). I can’t keep him in the picture, Jerry. Look out. Jerry, Krushchev is going to hit the kid with the door. He’s going to hit the kid with the door, Jerry. Someone, get the kid (long pause).”
Then, Bob would say, with absolutely no inflection, “He hit the kid with the door.”
I am still laughing at Bob’s jokes, just like my Dad did, some forty-plus years ago.
And the wonder is, I remember them.
